Star Wars Sequels must be side-lined

Who would vote for the Disney+ Star Wars series to eventually write over the Rey trilogy as never happening?

These movies are a disaster. The have incoherent plot, poor character writing, and different directors all trying to undo the work in the previous movie and recast Star Wars in their own image. They don’t just destroy the characters we knew and loved from the Luke trilogy, they destroy themselves. I’ll collect the best analysis of where the Rey trilogy went so wrong below, but before we get to all that – what’s the answer?

Sideline Rey

With some clever writing from Disney+ we might have the streaming series of Mando and Boba Fett and Ahsoka bypass and explain away the Rey disaster as a bad Force Dream. Book of Boba Fett just showed us Luke building the new Jedi training temple. Imagine a future series where we see Luke training a younger Kylo. There’s some sort of conflict, and Luke almost imagines killing Kylo in a ‘pre-emptive attack’ (which was basically being prepared to murder his own nephew! Eeew that hurts to write – the Sequels suck so bad!) But then Luke remembers his core values. He has a Force Dream that reminds him how he was prepared to die for the mere chance of turning his father Darth Vader back to the light. He remembers the Light Side is about self-defence and valuing life, not taking it. And he has a Force Dream warning not to harm his nephew or he’ll confirm Kylo on his journey to the Dark Side – and the whole Rey disaster would have unfolded.

Hey Presto, Disney has now just admitted how bad the movies are, sunk them into a different timeline that never happened, and we can all stop trying to justify bad writing and move along. There’s even a place for them for those weirdos who like Rey – because they’re in a Force Dream that might have happened. They’re still Star Wars – but sidelined. A might-have-been alternative timeline.

George Lucas’s vision should replace the Rey trilogy

Unless we get some truly outstanding writers in, I for one am cynical about future Star Wars movies. The Anakin trilogy and original Luke trilogy tell of the ancient prophecy of the one who would bring balance to the force. As much as I hate Jar-Jar Binks and other issues with the Prequels, they do rise and set the scene for the Luke trilogies. The period of the Sith Empire should remain the worst period in the galaxy’s history. The Empire is gone – and the great conflict between the Emperor and his protégé Anakin Skywalker is resolved. And if I never see another planet destroying Death Star analogue it will be too soon. I mean, planets are useful things! Why go around just blowing them up – bombard the cities into ash from orbit – but don’t go blowing away a whole terraformed planet? What’s wrong with these people?

So what did George Lucas imagine for the sequels? They were a kind of a mopping up exercise – much like Mandalorian is. He watched the war in Iraq and said he imagined the Republic peace-keeping action to be something like that. They would be constantly mopping up Imperial bases that had not surrendered, and trying to bring order to areas that were falling into civil war, etc.

In the background of the action, Luke would be running the Jedi temple and seeking out new Jedi to train. He would most definitely not try to murder his nephew apprentice over a bad dream, nor hide out afterwards on a deserted planet like a whiny little bitch, nor petulantly toss his lightsabre into the ocean when some Mary-Sue tracks him down and presents it to him!

Leia was going into politics. She would run for Chancellor. (And most definitely not arrange to break Star Wars canon by Hyperspace Crashing an Imperial Dreadnought – doing away with these things called SHIELDS!).

Instead, Lei’s children were going to be trained up in the Force at the temple. They would discern a new threat in Darth Maul’s apprentice. (Yes, Darth Maul survived being chopped in half. He used the Dark Side to stop bleeding out and became a maddened half-cyborg spider on a waste planet – watch the animated series Clone Wars. It’s weird, but in a good way – when you get over the shock that is.) There’s more detail in the video below – but the major point is this kind of ‘mopping up’ scenario is in a lower key and more suited for long-form storytelling. For Streaming shows. I love how in Mandalorian the whole premise of the show is he starts off a bounty hunter just wanting more jobs to score some more Baskar steel. He wants bling for his armour, to restore the honour of his religion. That’s it. He’s not out to save the galaxy from the Sith (again), or destroy another Death Star (again). Bling. And it’s fun and sometimes funny to watch as he does so.

For those who want more on where George Lucas would have taken it, it’s here, keyframed to the spot. But my basic point is Jedi fighting Sith and the destruction of the Emperor and Empire should take on the feel of an epic legend. Star Wars from here on should explore the smaller, more intimate, long-form storytelling. And the Mandalorian series is a key way to build into this.

Now, the Dark Side. How the Rey Trilogy undermines Star Wars and destroys the characters that we used to know and love

How the Rey trilogy is Anti-Star Wars

Summary: zero character arcs, clumsy humour, incoherent plot, each director consciously trying to react and divert away from previous Star Wars movies but in the process becoming anti-Star Wars.

Critical Drinker analysis

He’s Scottish and Angry – so he can’t help the language OK? It’s in his DNA.
Not safe for work.

The Last Jedi shows us Rey is still a boring, overconfident, overpowered Mary Sue with no conflicts, character arcs, or any personality at all

The Last Jedi destroys the character of Luke Skywalker – and is a boring mess as it does so