OK, normally I’m a conservationist. I’m concerned about global warming, peak oil, suburban sprawl growing across our landscape like an ugly cancer.
But when it comes to the Australian Brush Turkey I feel like reaching for a grenade!
In a nutshell: they rape our chickens! The male Brush Turkey gets confused when there are not enough lady-friends around. When desperate, he figures near enough is good enough. Now I’m sure some Aussies find the startling yellow neck and rosy head colourings amusing. Some people might even be sick enough to find it ‘beautiful’. But when I see a bright yellow flash of colour topped by a bald red scalp with beady little eyes, I see a bird dressed for crime! It means breeding season has arrived, and this bird is looking for some ‘business time’.
Yes, these beasts are raping our chooks!
AMOROUS brush turkeys are raping chickens as their numbers rise in Brisbane and they look for a mate, a leading Queensland biologist says…
“Especially black chickens they seem to think ‘oh well, these look close enough’ and they’ll mate with them.”
Over the last few weeks we’ve heard a commotion in our chook pen and later noticed the chickens having various scratches and marks on them. Now I know what that horrible noise means, I am keeping my ears finely tuned in their direction. Any time I hear the chickens screaming “Help! Help! We really need some help here! Confused Turkey approaching, Mayday Mayday!” in chicken-ese, I creep up on the cage. I stare down in dismay and disgust. The Brush Turkey is usually in the pen, staring at our hens safely locked in the coop. It quivers with desire! So I swing a club at it, but it yells “Ooog Ooog” and runs away. But it gets worse. Not only do they rape the hens, but they can breed with them!
Scrub turkeys rape chickens, then produce creepy offspring
“It really is what you’d expect a half chicken, half turkey to look like – just this weird little thing.”
THE biologist who revealed that brush turkeys were raping chickens in Brisbane back yards says it’s possible for the couplings to produce offspring….
They see “black chickens and seem to think `oh well, these look close enough’ and they’ll mate with them”, he said. Today he added: “I’ve seen one of them (offspring) and it’s …. urgh … just creepy.
Words can’t communicate how utterly frightening I find the idea of our hens hatching some dang ugly bald headed Turkey-chicken mutant! It’s just so wrong. I’m having nightmares about hybrid “Turkens” making gobbling noises as they scratch my eyes out! I try to imagine a half-chicken half Brush-Turkey “Turken”, but then I black out.
This disgusting beast is freaking me out! My darling wife cooked roast Turkey (the nice, domesticated variety) the other night and I COULD NOT EAT IT! Nausea doesn’t cover it, I felt genetically contaminated just looking at that leg of Turkey staring up at me. I thought I could hear it. “Ooog, ooog!” it called accusingly. I mean, me, turning down a roast dinner? This saga is messing with my mind!
When you buy chickens you prepare yourself for some mess, some chores, and maybe even worry about foxes. That’s fine! But no one warns you of the attack of the DISGUSTING Brush Turkey of perversion and doom.
Why is this happening to us? My ‘solution’ for it (involving fish hooks, bleach, and maybe an atomic bomb if I can borrow one) is probably illegal… but if I don’t check maybe my conscience will be clear.
I trapped it the other day, but it escaped. I think I freaked it out enough to avoid us. It hasn’t been back for a while! Here’s to hoping that it ‘simply’ ran from our place in terror, popped over the neighbour’s roof, ran across the other neighbour’s home, crossed the adjoining street and was struck by a micro-meteorite which went straight through its brain as it fortuitously fell into someone’s open rubbish bin! Please!
Otherwise, it could be back in a few days… standing around nonchalantly…. waiting for its opportunity to…. no no NO! YUK! (Nearly blacks out again). Just breathe Dave, breathe…